Strong Stomach

Told he’d be eternally tethered to a feeding pump, Pedro Relvas spent the next two decades kicking that prognosis to the curb. Here, the South African-born, Brisbane-based body-sculpt athlete and coach shares how he’s made tube-feeding work for him.

How did a gastrostomy (G) tube come into your life?

When I was 25 years old I had surgery to remove a brain tumour. After that surgery I had paralysis of my glossopharyngeal nerve, which meant I couldn’t swallow so the doctors had to put a tube in.

I remember them telling me that I’d have to walk around with a feeding pump. I refused the pump and used syringes to feed from the start. I was on commercial formula for the first couple of years.

Did that formula sit well with you?

Look, to be honest, that formula keeps you alive but I just wasn’t able to get my weight back. I had so many negative side-effects, especially energy-wise. Most importantly it impacted my moods. I was not happy. So I got stubborn and decided, if

I’m the one who’s sick, I want to take care of myself and make my own choices, because I have to live with the consequences. Then came a long period of trial and error with blends.

How did you find your own way to this kind of diet?

I’ve got a degree in neuropsychology and neuroscience tells us that we actually have three brains – in our head, heart and gut. If we look after our stomach, we can improve our mental wellness.

Psychologists and psychotherapists are now treating patients through nutrition rather than pharmacology and I think we all need to be more focused on this. It sucks eating with a tube – of course it does. But it also sucks living with back pain or headaches. We all have our things that suck, we just don’t want them to suck so much. And giving people who are tube-fed real, organic, unprocessed food makes a world of difference. It makes a world of difference for any person.

My son is non-speaking so I’m always curious to know, when you are tube-fed, how long after you start a meal does it feel like you’re filling up?

It takes a while for my brain to register that my body’s got food in it, so I’ve got a little bit of a cheat. If I’m at home I’ll actually chew food while I’m tube-feeding and then spit it out into a bucket. I could be injecting a healthy meal and chewing on a pizza. So I get the best of both worlds.

You’ve got a great attitude toward tube-feeding, but at 25, when you discovered this was how you’d be eating, I’d imagine that was pretty crap.

The hardest part about it was the visual aspect. I remember the first day that they put the PEG [percutaneous endoscopic gastrostomy] tube in, and my ex-wife – at the time she was my girlfriend – and my dad were with me. When they were asked to clean the tube, both of them had a really negative reaction. Which is normal. We’re all human and not all of us can deal with a tube coming out of a stomach.

I remember getting really frustrated at that point and saying, ‘all right, you guys leave’ and I got the nurse to show me how to clean it. From then on I started to take control. It was also hard to navigate the social aspect. The toughest thing for me – and it still happens to this day – is I don’t really get invited out for dinner. People don’t want to make me uncomfortable, so they just kind of back off.

So I tried to have some fun with my tube-feeding. I came up with a few party tricks. My friends would syringe different flavoured proteins into me and I’d guess what they were.

So you can actually taste the food when it goes in?

It has a little bit of an aftertaste – at least in my experience. The best way to describe it is, you know when you’ve had a really big meal and then about 20 minutes later, you can kind of still taste it? That’s what it feels like.

My friends became more and more supportive but I still deal with people’s assumptions. When some people see me feeding in the gym, their first thought is, ‘oh, he’s taking steroids’, because they see a massive syringe. But when people actually ask, “what’s that?” I have the chance to explain and they understand. Some people even say, “you’re so lucky, that’s why you look the way you look”.

And the truth is, I probably wouldn’t be as disciplined today had I not had my tube. I also wouldn’t know as much today had I not had it. It’s part of who I am – but it’s not everything.

It certainly isn’t. You’ve got two kids, haven’t you?

Yes, my son is 18 and my daughter is 14. They’re into health and fitness as well. Most kids want to be in the gym because they want to look good, but with my son and my daughter, I really enforce that if you feel good, you will always look good. So we focus on feeling good.

Nowadays, many of my personal training clients choose to feed the same way I do. A lot of them will blend their meals and drink them throughout the day. They find that the blended food doesn’t sit in their stomach as long and they process it easier, so they love it.

Like you say – nutrition has so much to do with feeling good. When we switched from formula to blended food, my kid got his sparkle back.

I can only imagine what it’s like when your child needs to tube-feed. I often feel lucky because I’m going through it, so I can figure it out for myself. In your situation, and with your son not being able to speak, you must wonder, what is he feeling? Am I hurting him? Is he still hungry? It must be really hard. But with your understanding of your son and your awareness of his nonverbal cues – and I’m a big believer in energetic communication, as well – you must be so in tune. There will be things that you see, sense, and just know.

You really get it, Pedro, and those are some beautiful words for parents. What about adults who are new to tube-feeding and feeling like it’s the end of their work life, social life, sex life…

The end of your sex life – that’s something I was worried about. After my divorce I thought, how do I meet someone new? I opened myself up and even started online dating for a bit and met a couple of people there who were put off by the idea of my tube. I found myself feeling quite rejected by it. And

then I thought, you know what? I don’t think I would even relate to you as a friend if that’s your perception of someone, so why am I taking this so personally? That little bit of negativity woke me up to the fact that I hadn’t fully accepted myself and I was able to release that.

For the record, you have a supportive partner now, don’t you?

Yes I do, she’s amazing. She’s a down to earth, easy-going person. And even when I wake up at night and have to spit, it doesn’t phase her. In fact, she often compliments me and says that her own awareness of her health and fitness is because she lives with me. I was really, really lucky to find her, but I often tease and say she was very lucky to find me.

It goes both ways! What advice do you have for anyone who is new to tube-feeding?

When I talk to people who are tube-fed I always remind them, you don’t work for the tube. Make it work for you. I’m stuck in this situation, so how can I make the best of it? Take advice, of course, but make sure you take control and make the choices.

The parents who are dealing with this, who are open and actively searching for answers, are inspirational to me because that’s what makes the change. Your son is going to be an amazing person because of your attitude to this process. And at the same time, it’s because of your son that you’ve been opened up to so many different possibilities.

To anyone who’s new to tube-feeding I say it’s going to be tough, but at the end of the day, it’s going to be yours.